A Life in Your Shape (Moomin)
by evergrid
Summary: Snufkin and Moomin are slowly falling in love, but slowly falling into a dark place too. Both think that the love is unrequited, and have forgotten comfort. A/N Hello all! This fic is actually a role play between me an instagram user @/onesimplygoodartist. That’s why the paragraphs are split up in such a weird way, or the writing styles change over time.


On a warm evening during spring, birdsong and laughter filled Moomin Valley. Life couldn't get any better. Moomin was sitting down on the comfy grass next to Snufkin, his dearest friend.

Snufkin smiled as he looked over at Moomin. They were in the middle of finding shapes, made of clouds. He glanced back over at the sky a pointed. "What about that one? What do you think that looks like?"

Moomin was fixating on the sky with his eyes. "Well, Snufkin, it kind of looks like you!" His soft eyes fell to Snufkin instead, and Moomin gave him a little smile.

He chuckled lightly and put his hand down on his chest. "You really think so?" A soft blush illuminated onto his cheeks as he kept staring above.

"A perfect copy of you!" Moomin couldn't help but laugh at his own joke. Their hands brushed together as he reached for his face, trying to cover it. "It's like the cloud is your brother."

"And that one looks like you!" He spoke out and pointed right next to the other cloud, the one that looked like Snufkin. He nudged Moomins side with his elbow. "That one can be your brother." He joked with emphasis' on your.

As Moomin's laughter died out, he let out a long sigh. "I couldn't be any happier right now." He smiled, he felt like a little child on his birthday.

"It is getting rather late." Snufkin sat up and grabbed his hat that was laying at the side of him. "We should head off to our homes now?"

Moomin was a little sad, and was going to disagree- but snufkin was right. The sky was turning crimson as the light grew dimmer. "It was great being with you Snufkin, as always." Moomin gave Snufkin a small pat on the shoulder.

He placed the hat on his head and nodded. "Of course. We'll see each other tomorrow as well?" He was starting to get used to this routine, it didn't bother him as much anymore but he still yearned for his alone time.

After they parted ways, Moomin went back to his house. He loved spending time with Snufkin. He loved everything he did with snufkin. He loved, and he never understood why. Sometimes it upset Moomin that Snufkin wanted to be alone at times. Moomin never took this personally. Moomin was busy thinking about how fun Snufkin was to be around. He never about what they never did. Moomin lay down on his bed. Why was Snufkin always on his mind? Something was so unforgettable. Snufkin, Snufkin, Snufkin Snufkin! Moomin rarely thought about anything else.

Snufkin was thinking much the same. He loved spending time with Moomin it was the best part of his day. He had grown very close to him over the years and had never had a closer friend. But at the same time it had bothered him, he loved his alone time as well and it was very hard to choose. He knows how much it hurts Moomin when he leaves for the fall but at some times he needs to recollect his thoughts. He sighed, laying in his tent. He kept thinking about choosing between being alone or being with Moomin. But those thoughts soon were to drift as the sun began to rose.

Moomin left the house and walked to the river. He usually spent his time there when he wasn't with Snufkin or his friends. He sat down by the edge of the water and submerged his feet into the cool water. Spring was his favourite season, he decided. A new beginning, when everything bloomed. And of course, the return of spring spelt for the return of snufkin.

Snufkin was nowhere to be seen yet, as well as where he set camp it was empty. A few hours flew by with no sound of him until a tune arose from the forest. With only a few seconds Snufkin came into view, it seemed he had gone on a little walk.

"Snufkin!" Moomin cried out. "Snufkin, oh it's you again! This is wonderful." He danced around like a little puppy. Snufkin must have noticed because he was smiling at how happy Moomin looked.

"Hello, Moomintroll." He replied, the smile still spread across his face. "You look very happy today, did I miss something?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Moomin replied. "I really missed you! I know it hasn't been long but I'm so bored without you, I-" Moomin stopped. He felt a little embarrassed. He knew how much Snufkin valued solidarity, and Moomin didn't want to disrespect him. Moomin thought that Snufkin didn't feel this way too. Moomin was too clingy, he told himself.

"Is Moominmomma home?" He asked walking towards the bridge. "A squirrel gave me some stones and you know me I don't fancy such things. But I thought they'd look lovely in her garden." He glanced over at Moomin and then back at the stream.

"Yes, she's home. She might be a little bit busy though, so I'm sorry about that." Moomin wasn't sure why, but he felt sad as if he was longing for something he never had.

"It's alright." He knew something was wrong, everything felt so off, but he couldn't tell what it was. "Is there something on your mind?"

Moomin wasn't sure how to respond, or explain everything that was on his mind. He was pretty sure he didn't want to. "Why do you like being alone so much? I can't stand it." His voice cracked in the middle of his statement. Moomin added: "I- I don't hate the fact that you want to be alone. That's not what I meant. It is just that I don't understand how you can like it so much."

He was a little surprised at what Moomin had said but knew that he would've asked that eventually. "Hm... Well, it's like that sun, the sun can only appear during the day time at most and then leaves when the moon is to take its place. If you always had the sun you'd begin to lose its value and wouldn't be very enjoyable. If I were in Moominvalley all the time I'd loose how amazing the people here are."

"I suppose you're right Snufkin, as always." Moomin shed a small tear and smudged it away with his hand before it rolled down his cheek. He found himself becoming sad, even in the presence of Snufkin. This put him off, this put him off a lot.

Snufkin sat down at the edge of the bridge and patted down the spot next to him. "Why don't you sit down, I'll play you a tune." He spoke as he took out his mouth-organ.

Despite himself, Moomin smiled. "I'd love that." There was something magical about the way Snufkin played music. It was inexplicable, and one had to be there to understand the gist of it.

"Now, which one would you like to hear?" He smiled softly. He would normally play what his heart desires but and rare occasions he would let him pick.

Moomin thought about it for a moment. "What about last year's spring tune?" Moomin decided. "There's something about it that I like, but I can't quite put my finger on it." As Moomin said that, he poked Snufkin on the cheek.

It has startled him a bit but soon followed the shock with small laughter. He brought his mouth organ to his..well his mouth... And began playing it aloud.

Moomin listened to the gentle melody of Snufkin's music. Moomin felt like he was dreaming. This brought back distant memories, like fresh morning air and forgotten laughter. "It's beautiful, Snufkin. If only I could play like you."

He paused the music and lowered his hands down. "Well, it does take a lot of practice. And I'm sure you'll get the hang on it, one day."

Moomin looked at Snufkin with wide eyes. "Hey, uhm, Snufkin? Do you mind if I give it a try?"

Snufkin looked over at Moomin and then to his prized possession. "Of course not, here." He smiled and handed it to his dear friend.

Moomin looked at the harmonica and handled it with care. "I'll try to play a scale first." Moomin tried and tried again. He almost got it right this time. The sound of the mouth organ accompanied the blooming laughter of Snufkin.

He placed a hand on Moomin's shoulder, it was warm and fuzzy, "Aw, you did good!" He cheered him on, with bits of laughter here and there.

Moomin joined in and started laughing. "Well, I think that's enough." He took Snufkin's hand and slowly placed the harmonica in it. Moomin giggled again, with that sunny smile if his.

Snufkin smiled back, that smile of his warming him up. He then looked up at the sky, "Its a bit cloudy today, isn't it Moomintroll." He sighed with joy.

"Yes, I sure hope the weather doesn't get worse." He scooted over closer to snufkin, eyes fixated on his.

Snufkin cleared his throat and turned his head. "It would be a shame, but we can't control that from not happening."

"Like most things in life, right Snufkin?" Moomin yawned. All of a sudden he felt quite weary. Everything grew heavier and heavier. Somehow he was half conscious and leaning on to Snufkin's shoulder. Moomin's hearing was foggy. Maybe Snufkin was saying something, maybe he wasn't. Moomin closed his eyelids. "Snufkin is warmer than I imagined," he thought.

He chuckled and stared down at Moomin. "Sure a tired one you are this morning." He planted his hand upon Moomin's back. He let him nap for a while. Half an hour at least had flown by, as the sky grew dimmer and the sun was overshadowed by hoards of clouds.

Moomin woke up with a jolt. "AH! I'M SOrry." He withdrew from Snufkin. "What was I thinking?" Moomin added. His face was as warm as the weather.

"Did you have a nice rest?" He asked, staring at the sky still, how long has he been staring now? "You looked so peaceful, I didn't have the heart to wake you up yet."

Moomin's blush grew more intense. "I guess I rested well, yeah. You're.. comfy." There was no taking these words back. "Thanks for not waking me up."

"Should we head off to your room? It's getting a dark as a dead oak tree." He turned to face Moomin and hadn't realized how red his face seems to be.

"Sure, Snufkin." He sat up and offered Snufkin his hand. "Let's go, then."

Snufkin took his hand and got up himself. He then brushed off his shirt, settled his hat in place and grabbed his bag.

Moomin led the way, and soon they were at the door. "Oh hey mom," he said. "We're back from the river."

His mother was sitting in the kitchen, as always.

"Hello Moominmomma." Snufkin greeted her, with a nod.

"Hello dears," she replied with the soft tone in her voice as always. "The weather is quite chilly today, would you like me to make you some tea?" "I'm fine, thanks." Moomin ran up the stairs to his room.

Snufkin followed behind. The house was quiet today, which was not unusual but not very usual as well.

Moomin sat down on his bed and huffed. He was out of breath from walking up the stairs too fast. "So?" He mumbled.

Snufkin set his bag near the door. "I can't remember the last time I was in here." He looked out the window, it was starting to rain hard outside.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Moomin smiled, but his tired eyes said otherwise. "I could listen for ages." He was looking at the rain, but not talking about it."

"It is." He took his hat off and held it in his hand. " How long do you think it'll rain?"

"I don't know." Moomin sighed. I feel like it's been raining for weeks. I feel cold, Snufkin, and I don't know why."

Snufkin left the window and sat at the foot of the bed, next to Moomin. "Are you Ill?"

"You should lay down. I can get Moominmomma to make you some medicine." He put his hat back on.

"Okay then." For a while, Moomin was alone with his thoughts. He lay on his bed and watched the ceiling. Why was he so weird around Snufkin? It's not like he was pining for him, right?

A few minutes passed by. Snufkin came back with Moominmomma by his side who was holding a bottle of liquid medicine.

Moomin didn't get out of bed. "Thank you.." He took the bottle from Snufkin's hands. He thought about drinking it but hesitated. "Snufkin, could you stay a while?"

"Of course, Moomintroll. But as soon as the rain clears up I must be on my way."

"Mhm." Moomin looked at Snufkin and drank the bottle. The drink was bitter, but sweet enough to be good. He knew he wasn't sick. He wanted to be with Snufkin. "Snufkin, I... recently I've been feeling weird. And I don't think that's just because I'm a little sick." He swallowed, and was visibly nervous.

"What do you mean?" Snufkin asked, sitting down on the bed again.

"I.. I don't know. As much as I hate being alone I don't feel like this when I'm not around you. So.. uhm." Moomin couldn't say it.

Snufkin stared at Moomin, waiting for him to confess his feelings. This may be the longest he had ever looked him in the eyes. "What are you trying to say? Do I make you feel bad?" He tried to understand, nothing else seemed to matter to him right now.

"No, no! It's not that at all." Moomin jumped up in his bed. "It's just that... I.." Tears formed in his cloudy eyes and rolled down his face like pearls. "I have feelings for you Snufkin, feelings that are slowly killing me on the inside. I can't stand hiding it from you." His voice was quaking, and goosebumps covered him. He was going to say more but ugly sobbing interrupted whatever he was going to say. He felt heavy again, the same weight he felt when he fell asleep on Snufkin's shoulder.

"Oh Moomin!" He didn't expect it to go like this. "I'm so sorry Moomintroll, I didn't know you have felt this way.." He cupped Moomin's face in his hands and looked down in guilt. "I should've paid more attention to how you felt."

"Don't blame yourself Snufkin, my feelings have always been unpredictable.." He sobbed again and held Snufkin around the waist.

"If I have to honest I am afraid I feel the same as you do." He placed a hand on Moomin's back for comfort.

Moomin stroked Snufkin's hair. It was soft and delicate, although it was in a terrible state. "You're usually so daring in the face of the unknown. So why be afraid now?

"I-- well--" he didn't know how to respond to that. "I suppose I have never in a situation like this one."

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" Moomin slowly moved back. "I'm sorry, I.."

"No no! I just... Need time to think about this is all." He took a few steps back.

Moomin looked at him "I guess you're right... this all happened so fast."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Moomintroll." He looked out the window and grabbed his bag. It was still raining but that didn't stop him.

Moomin watched Snufkin from the window. Had this really just happened? It seemed so dreamlike. Perhaps Moomin was sick after all, as he felt fatigued and weak. He lay down on his bed, closed his eyes. Soon his mind was elsewhere."

The rain had cleared after a few days, two at most. Despite the rain, the valley wasn't as flooded as it is after storms. Snufkin had done a lot of thinking these past few days but he still hasn't come to a conclusion of how to feel. It was as if there was a storm inside his head and it will feel that way forever.

Moomin too, hadn't felt at peace ever since that day. He thought about telling his parents about the way he felt. What would their reaction be? He worried about it. What would his parents think? And what about Snorkmaiden? Her heart would break!

Moomin had left the house to go and join him. His heartbeat accelerated and his head hurt a little.

Snufkin had not noticed Moomin approaching yet or he had and chose to ignore him. He looked as if he was thinking about something, something very hard.

Moomin tapped him in the shoulder. Snufkin turned around with a jolt. He furrowed his eyebrows and was blushing.

"Hi Snufkin," Moomin said. His weight shifted from side to side. "I thought I might come and.. make things right."

"Right?" He turned his head. "Whatever do you mean, Moomin?"

"I mean." Moomin cleared his throat. "We can't go on like this for much longer. Surely you understand?" He sat down next to Snufkin, but at a distance. Moomin didn't want to overwhelm him.

"I understand." He kept his words short. He grabbed his fishing rod and kept his eyes averted away.

"I just.. I wish we could go back to how it was before." Moomin shuffled over a bit closer to snufkin. He gripped the grass with one hand and pulled it gently, letting the weaker blades tear off the ground. "But that's not going to happen, is it? We're going to have to move on." He sniffled and faced Snufkin.

"Moomintroll.." Snufkin spoke out quietly. He hadn't dare to face Moomin yet. The tension had rose higher than before. He would have known Moomin would have been so affected by the silence. He pulled his hat down over his eyes.

Moomin looked at Snufkin sadly and lovingly. "We both know what's going on here. Dont we?" He put his hand of Snufkin's and leaned towards him ever so slightly. "I.. we.."

Moomin looked at Snufkin sadly and lovingly. "We both know what's going on here. Dont we?" He put his hand of Snufkin's and leaned towards him ever so slightly. "I.. we.."

Snufkin jolted back and quickly stood up. "Moomin!" He shouted with shock in his voice. He looked down at Moomin, his eyes piercing through his. His face shown a bright red tint, glowing on his cheeks and nose.

Moomin buried his face in his hands in shame. He mumbled what sounded like an apology, stood up and ran away.

Snufkin stared off to where Moomin had gone. He grabbed his fishing rod and stormed off to his tent.

Moomin rushed up the stairs. His parents were sitting in the living room, and having tea. "Hello Moomin. Won't you join us?" Moominmamma smiled at him.

Moomin stopped and looked at them. He knitted his eyebrows.

"I couldn't care less about your tea!" He cried, as he ran off. His voice was weak and there were tears in his eyes.

"Oh my," said moominpappa. "Whatever could've caused that?"

"I don't know dear. Maybe we should ask Snufkin, I'm sure he would know."

Snufkin thought about what had just happened, he didn't mean to upset Moomin but it was just so sudden. He needed to apologize to him, but how better would that make the situation? It was already getting dark out outside and another storm was rolling in. What perfect timing for that to occur at a time like this.

Moomin buried his face in a pillow. Pearly tears rolled down his face and into his bed. His heart felt like it rose into his throat and he felt dizzy. He sat up, and rocked back and forth. He felt the urge to run away, but he had nowhere to go. Moomin walked around his room frantically: scared but not knowing if what. While he was panicking, his parents wondered what could have possibly happened.

Snufkin leaped out of his tent, the rain had began to sprinkle down. He packed up his camping site into his bag and headed towards Moominhouse.

Moomin wasn't feeling better. He felt like his head was going to blow up. He was practically running around the room with agitation.

He could hear the steps from outside. 'He must be really upset.' Snufkin had thought. He debated on knocking on the door for quite some time, the rain was pouring hard, beginning to flood the valley. He stood in the porch for a couple minutes before calmly placing a few knocks on the door.

Moomin cried out in surprise. He thought that he was in danger, and hid underneath his bed. His breath was shaky and uneven. He touched his fur, and felt his fragile his bones where. The rising and falling motion of his chest slowly calmed him down. Snufkin opened the door with hesitation.

Snufkin looked into the house and saw Moomin's parents in the living room. He closed the door and walked inside. "Is Moomin in his room?"

Moominpappa looked at him with surprise. "He isn't there? Where did he go?" He looked a little worried, and ran up to Moomin's room.

Snufkin watched Moominpappa go upstairs, he stepped over to Moominmomma. "I think I really hurt Moomintroll's feelings." He took his hat off to shake the water off.

Moominmamma looked at Snufkin. "Oh dear! Whatever happened between you two?"

Moominmamma smiled at him.

"It's not us that you need to do the explaining to." Moomin came down the stairs, and with that his parents we gone.

"Moomintroll?" Snufkin got up and ran to him.

"Snufkin." Moomin looked down at his feet. "I think I just had a panic attack."

"Are you okay? I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't to make you upset, Moomintroll."


End file.
